Human sexuality is a sacred gift that is central to the plan of salvation. However, in a world saturated with sexual images and conflicting messages, it can be easy to feel uncertain or confused about the meaning and purpose of sexuality
The Divine Purposes of Sexual Intimacy by Elder & Sister Renlund
SEXUAL FEELINGS & InTIMACY
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught the following about becoming “one flesh” in marriage:
Human intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God. From the Garden of Eden onward, marriage was intended to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything. Adam said of Eve that she was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, and that they were to be “one flesh” in their life together [see Genesis 2:23–24]. (“Personal Purity,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 76)
Sexual feelings are an important part of God’s plan to create happy marriages and eternal families. These feelings are not sinful—they are sacred. Because sexual feelings are so sacred and so powerful, God has given you His law of chastity to prepare you to use these feelings as He intends. The law of chastity states that God approves of sexual activity only between a man and a woman who are married. Many in the world ignore or even mock God’s law, but the Lord invites us to be His disciples and live a standard higher than the world’s. For the Strength of Youth, 2022
Keep sex and sexual feelings sacred. They should not be the subject of jokes or entertainment. Outside of marriage between a man and a woman, it is wrong to touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body even if clothed. In your choices about what you do, look at, read, listen to, think about, post, or text, avoid anything that purposely arouses lustful emotions in others or yourself. This includes pornography in any form. If you find that situations or activities make temptations stronger, avoid them. You know what those situations and activities are. And if you aren’t sure, the Spirit, your parents, and your leaders can help you know. Show your Father in Heaven that you honor and respect the sacred power to create life. For the Strength of Youth, 2022
Six Principles of SEXUAL HEALTH
Think of these six principles of sexual health as aspirations and goals for living your sexual life in such a way that you feel proud and can create sexual self-esteem for yourself and those you love. The Harvey Institute
Consent
Non-exploitive
Honest
Shared Values
Protection from STIs and Unwanted Pregnancy
Pleasure
sAme-SEX ATtraction
Recognize that same-sex attraction and feelings are real. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles counseled: “One thing that’s always important is to recognize the feelings of a person, that they are real. That they are authentic. That we don’t deny that someone feels a certain way.” (To learn more, watch “Feelings Are Real and Authentic” [0:47], ChurchofJesusChrist.org.)
I am attracted to people of my same sex. How do these standards apply to me? Feeling same-sex attraction is not a sin. If you have these feelings and do not pursue or act on them, you are living Heavenly Father’s sacred law of chastity. You are a beloved child of God and a disciple of Jesus Christ. Remember that the Savior understands everything you experience. Through your covenant connection with Him, you will find strength to obey God’s commandments and receive the blessings He promises. Trust Him and His gospel. For the Strength of Youth, 2022
Focus on eternal identity. President Russell M. Nelson said: “Not all labels are of equal value. But if any label replaces your most important identifiers, the results can be spiritually suffocating. … No identifier should displace, replace, or take priority over these three enduring designations: ‘child of God,’ ‘child of the covenant,’ and ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’” (“Choices for Eternity” [worldwide devotional for young adults, May 15, 2022], ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Such terms as gay (sometimes used generally to refer to someone attracted to others of their own sex, and otherwise used specifically to refer to a man attracted to men), lesbian (a woman attracted to women), or bisexual (a man or woman attracted to both sexes) may be used to indicate a feeling, an identity, or a lifestyle. Remember that regardless of the term or terms a person uses to identify his or her sexual feelings or orientation, our most important identity is as a “beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Speaking about the Church’s position on same-sex attraction, President M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that “the experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them” [see Same-Sex Attraction: Individuals, “Is Feeling Same-Sex Attraction a Sin?” section, ChurchofJesusChrist.org]. (“The Lord Needs You Now!,” Ensign, Sept. 2015, 29)
The development of our sexuality is complex and is influenced by many factors. Feelings of same-sex attraction can vary in intensity, can fluctuate over time, and are not the same for everyone. The Church has no official position on what causes same-sex attraction. (See “Same-Sex Attraction: Individuals,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org.)
We all have a place in the Savior’s Church and in Heavenly Father’s eternal plan of happiness (see Psalm 84:11–12; 1 Corinthians 12:12–26; Mosiah 2:41). President Ballard explained:"I want anyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do. (“Questions and Answers” [Brigham Young University devotional, Nov. 14, 2017], 3, speeches.byu.edu)
A word about Pornography
Our Heavenly Father has given us our physical bodies and sexual feelings as sacred gifts to help us fulfill His plan for our happiness. One way that Satan tempts us to misuse these gifts is by enticing us to view pornography, which is “any depiction, in pictures or writing, that is intended to inappropriately arouse sexual feelings” (Gospel Topics, “Pornography,” topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
The production and use of pornography violates the sacredness of our divine nature, our physical bodies, and our sexuality. A recent Church publication notes, “Pornography attacks our happiness with false messages about sex. Healthy sexuality can lead us to find joy and connection, but pornography will isolate us and make us miserable. Pornography objectifies others, encourages selfish gratification, and misrepresents sexuality. It harms us physically, psychologically, socially, and spiritually” (“How Does Using Pornography Affect Me?,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Some people wisely use filters or other external resources to help them avoid pornography. Sister Linda S. Reeves, formerly of the Relief Society General Presidency, taught about our greatest filter:
Filters are useful tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us. (“Protection from Pornography—a Christ-Focused Home,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2014, 16)
Both men and women are being ensnared by pornography. For many people, using pornography isn’t only about gratifying sexual desires. Rather, they use pornography to respond to deeper, underlying needs. They might use it as a way to cope with stress, discomfort, loneliness, boredom, fatigue, anxiety, depression, or feelings of being dismissed or unimportant.
Reassuringly, Sister Reeves taught about the Lord’s power to heal:
If you are caught in Satan’s trap of pornography, remember how merciful our beloved Savior is. Do you realize how deeply the Lord loves and cherishes you, even now? Our Savior has the power to cleanse and heal you. (“Protection from Pornography—a Christ-Focused Home,” 15)
In the book of Luke we learn of a woman who had suffered for 12 years from “an issue of blood” (Luke 8:43), which she and all of the doctors she visited could not heal. Read Luke 8:43–48, and consider what we can learn from this woman’s example about seeking to be healed by the Savior.
President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency:
Now a word regarding how we treat those who have been ensnared by pornography. All of us need the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Those struggling with pornography need our compassion and love as they follow needed principles and steps of recovery. Please do not condemn them. They are not evil or without hope. They are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Through proper and complete repentance, they may become clean, pure, and worthy of every covenant and temple blessing promised by God. (“Recovering from the Trap of Pornography,” Ensign, Oct. 2015, 37)
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