“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:5–6).
HELP FOR ABUSE SURVIVORS
Abuse is the mistreatment or neglect of others (such as a child or spouse, the elderly, or the disabled) in a way that causes physical, emotional, or sexual harm. The Church’s position is that abuse cannot be tolerated in any form and that those who abuse will be accountable before God (see Matthew 18:6; Mark 9:42; Luke 17:2).
The Lord expects us to do everything we can to prevent abuse and to protect and help victims. No one is expected to endure abusive behavior.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles addressed our responsibility as disciples of Jesus Christ to refrain from abusing others, especially our family members:
How doubly careful we have to be as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. … In no case are we to be guilty of any form of abuse or unrighteous dominion or immoral coercion—not physical or emotional or ecclesiastical or any other kind. … In too many instances, otherwise faithful men, women, and even children can be guilty of speaking unkindly, even destructively, to those to whom they may well be sealed by a holy ordinance in the temple of the Lord. Everyone has the right to be loved, to feel peaceful, and to find safety at home. Please, may we try to maintain that environment there. The promise of being a peacemaker is that you will have the Holy Ghost for your constant companion and blessings will flow to you “without compulsory means” forever [Doctrine and Covenants 121:46]. (“Not as the World Giveth,” Liahona, May 2021, 37; see also Ephesians 4:29–32)
Recognizing abuse...
“There are common signs to watch for of how abuse often begins and continues” (“Recognizing Patterns of Abuse,” abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org). Recognizing and understanding these signs can open the door for the Lord to work through you to help stop abuse or prevent situations that may lead to abuse.
Spend a few minutes studying the resource “Recognizing Patterns of Abuse” (abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org), and attend class ready to share what you learned.
Never minimize the seriousness of abuse to yourself or to anyone else. “If you or someone you know has been abused, seek help immediately from civil authorities, priesthood leaders, child protective services, or adult protective services” (“In Crisis? Talk Now,” abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org). For additional information on reporting abuse, see “What Should I Do If I Know or Suspect That Someone Is Being Abused?” (abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Is healing possible?
Victims of abuse suffer deep wounds. The pain and trauma they have experienced can lead to mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges.
Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles cautioned:
If you have been abused, Satan will strive to convince you that there is no solution. … His strategy is to do all possible to separate you from your Father and His Son. Do not let Satan convince you that you are beyond help. (“To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2008, 41)
Read Isaiah 61:1–3, and look for the hope Jesus Christ offers to anyone who has suffered abuse.
To better understand the phrase “beauty for ashes” (verse 3), it may help to know that the Israelites would traditionally pour ashes on their heads during times of sadness or despair. The Lord promised to replace these ashes with beauty, or with a crown or head covering of beauty. Those who exercise faith in Jesus Christ can experience this sacred gift of healing and love.
President Jean B. Bingham, Relief Society General President, reaffirmed:
No matter what we have suffered, [Jesus Christ] is the source of healing. Those who have experienced any manner of abuse … can all be made whole by the Redeemer of the world. However, He will not enter without invitation. We must come unto Him and allow Him to work His miracles. (“That Your Joy Might Be Full,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 86)
Elder Patrick Kearon (April 2022): He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors: "Perhaps some of you, however, consider the accounts of survivors, and your soul cries out that you are living a survival story right now as a victim of abuse, neglect, bullying, domestic violence, or any suffering of this kind. You are in the midst of your own desperate attempt to survive a situation that feels very much like a disastrous shipwreck or a promising mission suddenly aborted. Will you ever be rescued; will you make it through your own survival story?
"The answer is yes. You can survive. You have in fact already been rescued; you have already been saved—by the One who has suffered the very torment you are suffering and endured the very agony you are enduring. Jesus has overcome the abuses of this world to give you power to not only survive but one day, through Him, to overcome and even conquer—to completely rise above the pain, the misery, the anguish, and see them replaced by peace...
"Jesus specializes in the seemingly impossible. He came here to make the impossible possible, the irredeemable redeemable, to heal the unhealable, to right the unrightable, to promise the unpromisable. And He’s really good at it. In fact, He’s perfect at it."
MODALITY: CHRIST-CENTERED TRAUMA THERAPY
Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. American Psychological Association.
Other traumatic events may not be as severe as those listed above, but can still distress individuals to the point where normal daily functioning is compromised. Events or circumstances such as poverty, hunger, sin, neglect, verbal abuse, faith crisis, negative self-talk, bullying, learning disability, homelessness, unemployment, etc. can also cause traumatic outcomes.
Following a traumatic event, people frequently feel stunned, disoriented, or unable to integrate distressing information. Once these initial reactions subside, people can experience a variety of thoughts and behaviors. Common responses can be:
Intense or unpredictable feelings. You may be anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, or grief-stricken. You may also feel more irritable or moody than usual.
Changes to thoughts and behavior patterns. You might have repeated and vivid memories of the event. These memories may occur for no apparent reason and may lead to physical reactions such as rapid heartbeat or sweating. It may be difficult to concentrate or make decisions. Sleep and eating patterns also can be disrupted—some people may overeat and oversleep, while others experience a loss of sleep and loss of appetite.
Sensitivity to environmental factors. Sirens, loud noises, or other environmental sensations may stimulate memories of the disaster creating heightened anxiety. These “triggers” may be accompanied by fears that the stressful event will be repeated.
Strained interpersonal relationships. Increased conflict, such as more frequent disagreements with family members and coworkers, can occur. You might also become withdrawn, isolated, or disengaged from your usual social activities.
Stress-related physical symptoms. Headaches, nausea, and chest pain may occur and could require medical attention. Preexisting medical conditions could be affected by disaster-related stress.
RELAXATION SKILLS: Breathing, Visualizing
GROUNDING SKILLS: Deep breaths, 5-senses modailities
MINDFUL DISTRACTION: Reading, Movies, Puzzles, Art, Hand-On
SHIFT MINDSET: Celestial Thinking, Gratitude
PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL RELEASE: Exercise, Cold Shower, Cry, Pillow-Yell, Karate
ASK FOR HELP: Friends, Family, Teachers, Therapist
SELF-CARE: Eating Well, Exercise, Self-Love, Water, Nature, Things You Enjoy
BUILD RESILIENCE: Work toward Goals, Practice Optimism, Let Little Things Go
CHRIST-CENTERED HEALING FROM TRAUMA
Scriptural Examples:
The Woman taken in Adultery John 8:1-11
The Woman at the Well John 4:3-26
The Nephites 3 Nephi 17
Others?
What is the trauma?
How did the person/people feel BEFORE his/her/their experience with Jesus?
How did the person/people feel AFTER his/her/their experience with Jesus?
What did Jesus do or say that made the difference?
Comments